Encounter-centered Couples Therapy in an Intensive Format – A Relationship-Transforming Experience
At Psykologi med mera and Parkliniken, we often get questions about how our transformative intensive couples model works – here are the answers in English, including costs and options to work on location internationally, nationally in Sweden as well as in Gothenburg where we are located on a daily basis. Click for information in Swedish instead.
Structure
A couples intensive involves working with one of our guides during the day, over 3 consecutive days, using building blocks from our framework, Encounter-centered Couples Therapy (EcCT), tailored and bespoken specifically for every couple.
These building blocks are similar to those used in our session-based work, but thanks to the intensity and focus of the intensive format, we achieve a profound and transformative effect, often requiring fewer therapy hours overall, making it more cost-effective than traditional weekly sessions. This format also works very well for couples traveling to us for focused intensive work.Below we describe the most central parts and answer the most common questions about how the process works.
Willingness is key
Couples choose how much they want to know beforehand: what matters most is their willingness to bring presence, an open heart, and dedication to the work – the rest will be guided by us. Couples do not need prior knowledge of the steps.
So, for those who want to know more about the work, please read on. Keep in mind that each intensive is unique for each relationship, day, and guide – this is part of the magic of the work and cannot be fully explained in advance.
How to book a couples intensive
If you are interested, you can either contact us directly by mail to book a couples intensive** or start with booking an initial single session (3 hrs), which allows you to begin the work while getting more information and deciding between session-based therapy or a couples intensive.
We also offer a free 15-minute Zoom meeting with one of our therapists to answer questions and provide more information about the intensive.
Location and availability – at our venue, nationally in Sweden or on international location
We offer weekday appointments in Gothenburg, excluding weekends and public holidays. We do not schedule intensives during evenings or holidays.
Further details about costs are provided below. In some cases, we can travel within Sweden or internationally to conduct a couples intensive on-site.
Intensive work usually need to be booked well in advance; occasionally, last-minute spots become available.
Language
Couples intensives are offered in English and Swedish.
The core principles of Encounter-centered Couples Therapy
Our therapy is relational and attachment-based. Encounter-centered Couples Therapy (EcCT), developed by couples therapist and psychologist Hedy Schleifer, emphasizes our innate relational abilities and our capacity for relational health and maturity.
Meaningful connection – not trouble-shooting
EcCT is built on the principle that we are made for meaningful connection. When we lose this connection, we move into survival mode, triggering stress and reactive behaviors. In survival mode, we often feel alone in our relationships, one of the most painful experiences.
Having difficulty in relationships is a form of stress that affects us deeply. In Interpersonal Neurobiology which we integrate into all our work, relationships are central to health. A couples intensive touches all nine integration domains, creating profound and lasting results.
“A relationship is not a problem to be solved, but an adventure to live.” – Hedy Schleifer
Hedy Schleifers words emphasizes contact-focused rather than problem-focused therapy, which are two separate paradigms.
In the intensive work, we start by concrete ways of building meaningful contact before addressing problems, using the brain’s plasticity and attachment orientation toward security to regulate stress and explore relational challenges.
Integrative Influences
EcCT is an integrative method, drawing on attachment-based approaches, relational neurobiology, Otto Scharmer’s U-theory, memory reconsolidation, existential philosophy, and presence as key intervention.
The intensive format allows us to work deeply with body-held memories, often addressing and healing relational trauma.
Hedy Schleifer
Hedy Schleifer, founder, previously worked within Imago Relationship Therapy, and some familiar metaphors, such as “crossing the bridge,” originate from that time.
EcCT, however, diverges significantly from Imago, focusing on generative construction rather than dialogue, and the generative U-curve is central to the approach.
Sue Wintgens
Sue Wintgens, skilled in creative applications of holding transformative work and known for her profound wisdom serves to our bliss and joy as mentor for our team of guides. Her book Stepping into the Circle of Life is recommended.
Her model is now referred to as The Threshold Experience.
Separating human essence from survival mode
Another key building block in the intensive is that one aspect of recreating meaningful contact, is the distinguishing between our intact human essence vs. the reactive survival patterns.
Deepest longings…
As we create that distinction by exploring the couple’s deepest longing for their relationship, we create new networks, images, and visions for the future relationship, whether it continues forward as a romantic partnership or not.
..and what gets in the way of fully living them
The intensive typically starts with focus on the couple’s longings and then moves on to explore what prevents them from living these fully.
Guided exercises help partners create clear, embodied images of the relationship they desire. This shifts focus from problems to longings, often revealing that behind every frustration lies an unmet desire.
Once relational longings are clear, we explore what gets in the way, using structured exercises to move beyond problem-talk, examining conflict patterns, energy, relational space, metaphors for attachment, and emotional contagion.
We continue practicing separating **essence from survival** and developing skills to engage fully with each other.
Encounter-based visits instead of discussion
We build on a principle of visiting each other’s worlds rather than merely discussing issues. Guided connecting, like the bridge visit that opens for a wider encounter allow couples to experience meaningful contact – in ways that talk alone cannot provide.
We practice bringing first by visiting neighborhoods of appreciation, gratitude, and joyful memories, gradually moving to more challenging relational areas.
The metaphor of “crossing the bridge” supports both partners in practicing being a host and visitor, deepening empathy, compassion and presence, that will allow for yhe challenge of visiting challenging, importanr or even difficult neighborhoods. Or if skills are well built allowing for the unravel of the survival knot, as founder Hedy Schleifer named the one of the most advanced pieces of this transformational work.
Central skills and metaphors
During intensives, couples practice:
- Staying present with their own sensations and returning to each other
- Honoring of strong emotional waves
- Visiting different relational neighborhoods (joyful, grateful, challenging)
- Crossing the bridge as host and visitor
- Distinguishing essence from survival
- Sparking limbic resonance synchrony by possibly sitting close and holding each others gaze, in parts of the work
- Caring for relational space
- Building new relational neighborhoods for the future
The guide has a plan, and the couple will show the Path
The quote above from Sue Wintgens lightsheds that, however brilliant building blocks as described above the work holds – the final work is guided in the path of each relationship and can never be manualized or duplicated.
The relational space
The relational space between partners is influenced by what is present, affecting children, friends, pets, and others. Crossing the bridge cleans and enriches this space, creating a nourishing environment.
The Encounter
This concept shows hos the work enables discoveries about your own and your partner’s inner world, integrating feelings and challenges in ways talk alone cannot. Whether the relationship continues or not, the intensive helps couples move forward, creating what we sometimes call the “new neighborhood under construction.”
Directions of Intensive Work
After core skills are practiced, the intensive can continue in different directions, after a firm an steady ground to build from, these are some portals:
- Connection – the start point of all work: restoring meaningful contact and addressing obstacles to living from essence
- Amends – taking mature responsibility, repairing trust (e.g., after infidelity, lies, financial breach)
- Farewell/Completing– honoring and concluding a relationship phase or the entire relationship while holding space for what needs to be carried forward, and what needs to be let go.
Couples opening for full Amends or Farewell/Completion work will need to return for additional full-day sessions after the initial connection intensive.
Practical information: hours and cost
Duration: 3 days, weekdays only. Only as exceptions and special circumstances do we offer 2 -days, due to need for integration space, well kept energy and pacing.
Total hours: Typically 14–21 hours, excluding lunch breaks, with a fee of SEK 1,375 per 60 minutes (as of 2025, Gothenburg, prices are subject to yearly revision)
This gives a fee for full intensiveof approx. SEK 19,250–27,500, depending on duration. The lower value is a standard of the 14 hours reserved that are always invoiced.
Why three and not anymore two days intensives, as you used to offer as option?
Three-day intensives are recommended for more integrative pacing, learning, and change.
Two-day intensives suit only couples with prior good skill in the work, high energy, willingness, or scheduling constraints making a 3-day too effortful.
The guides will decide for each couple if an exception can be made to offer a 2-day, e.g. if a couple has well and profound skills in the work beforehand or medical implications.
Cancellation policy
Cancellation must be made through the booking link; emails, texts, or DMs are not accepted. Up until 7 days before full cancellation is possible at no fee, thereafter:
- 7 days to – 48 hours before: 50% of base fee (14 hrs)
- Less than 48 hours: 100% of base fee (14 hrs)
Partial online work alternatives may be offered for minor illness getting in the way of scheduled live work. The guide will not meet live with a couple carrying air born risk of infections, and regardless the reason for the couple´s cancellation, our terms an conditions apply.
International and on-site intensives nationally and internationally
We offer our work on location as well as nationally in Sweden and internationally, when we have openings and assess that safe traveling is possible. We will book tickets, accommodations and venue, that beside fixed rates are carried by the couple.
Within Sweden
Contact us for info in fixed rates. Adding to that will be expenses for travel, accommodation, and room hire covered by the couple. We will book tickets, accommodations and venue.
International work on site
Couples intensive work is conducted in English or Swedish:
Contact us for info in fixed rates of internationally based work. Arranged only after online consultation usually 3-day intensives, and if traveling and work can be carried out safely for guide and couple.
Travel and accommodation costs are generally not included in the fixed rate, and will be at the couples expense. In case of cancellation from the couple less than 14 days ahead of an on site or international intensive, any costs for travels, ackommodations and venue that can not be fully cancelled without fees will be charged to the couple.
We will book tickets, accommodations and venue.
Who can participate, only couples?
The word ”couple” is a placeholder for any mutual close relationship.
All are welcome – same-sex, heterosexual, poly amorous constellations, LGBTQi+constellations, throuples etc.
Our EcCt guides bring experience and passion for the method, creating a unique, transformative environment for all relationships.
Frequently asked questions
Why choose an intensive?
It maximizes transformation and value for money, offering 14–19 hours of traditional therapy in a concentrated, powerful experience.
The intensive leverages memory reconsolidation and neuroplasticity for lasting change in attachment patterns.
Will we just talk for three days?
No. Traditional discussion is replaced with experiential practices, creating contact that is felt in the body and leads to real transformation.
Is the goal always to stay together?
No. The goal is meaningful contact and clarity, whether together or separately.
Couples may decide in a conscious way and with grace after an intensive to end the romantic relationship but continue in friendship or co-parenting roles, or carrying onlife as separate but well wishing expartners.
Is it for everyone?
No. It suits couples seeking something beyond traditional therapy, ready for a shared adventure, and willing to engage fully. Some may benefit from preparatory 3-hour sessions to explore if they have willingness for the work
Is not 3 days too long?
For transformative work, it’s not too long. Time feels different in an intensive; couples often marvel at how quickly it passes.
Is it expensive?
The intensive fee is often lower than serial traditional session-based therapy, and many couples see it as a lifetime investment.
What happens afterward?
Couples often continue into a generative period where the experience, carrying shifts, tools, and new experiences will be doing implicit and explicit work for the moths ahead.
Some choose follow-up sessions, or additional intensive full day as needed.